The Rebel Resists… Coaching and Your Needs
Do you romanticise the rebel? The outsider that lives life on their terms? The one who is inherently cool! Or what are your thoughts on the rebel? Are they an idol or a nuisance?
You may be wondering why I have bought up the image of a rebel, which is a reasonable thing to wonder!
It’s because, I want us to take a moment to see how the rebel can cause resistance, not to the world at large but to you, the individual, as you take care of self and also to you if you are a coach, as you guide your client.
In effect I am referring to our inner rebel. The person inside of us, who rejects the notion of rules. The one who wants to create anarchy and start a resistance movement to best intentions. We all have one to a greater or lesser degree.
We could say a rebel resists rules. Which may be a good thing, dependant upon the rules being laid down by another. And in the wellness world, we see many people laying down rules: eat this way, sleep that way, move like this, don’t do that, take this, get up at this time, follow my routine, don’t miss a day, if you follow these steps you too can be awesome like me!
Whilst I don’t wish to discredit anybody wishing to help someone else, rules for how to live can feel very prescriptive. And exhausting! Which is why many people’s inner rebel rears its head and resists doing activities for their health and wellbeing.
It may feel great to be rebellious as you disregard an authoritative voice. Yet it can more often than not, result in guilt and fear.
Guilt for not keeping up with what is important for your health and wellbeing. You may find you succumb to old patterns of behaviour, you may still feel awful and stuck.
Fear could set in as you start to believe that you will never loose weight, be fit, be happy, be healthy and a shining example of the best version of yourself.
What to do instead and how does this relate to coaching?
I’ve mentioned the word ‘prescriptive’ above, which is how many health models, including the medical health model, the nutritional model and the fitness model work. In summary, a diagnosis takes place to work out what is wrong with you and then you are told to take/do this to get better. Many people may want and wish for a step by step programme, to be told what to do and what to take. It can work.
Yet, as also mentioned, the inner rebel can toss the advice out the window as it feels constrained or you may find that the advice doesn’t work for your circumstances. Perhaps you don’t have the energy to tackle it everyday, maybe time is an issue or life gets in the way.
This is not to say these are reasons to give up, but rather opportunities to explore what you may work better for you. And if you are a coach, you have the opportunity to find solutions to their particular life issues in a collaborative way.
As the basis of coaching is collaboration between a coach and their client, asking questions is very important, understanding the client’s needs and wants, finding possibilities, being adaptable to circumstance, holding a bigger picture vision, listening with kindness and offering encouragement when needed.
Through coaching we can get the rebel onside to find unique, personal ways to ensure our needs are tended to.
By skilfully listening, questioning, reflecting, encouraging, challenging, and supporting an individual, a health and wellbeing coach guides their client to look to the future by helping them design and execute their own solutions to their problems and challenges.
As more people struggle with stress, anxiety and lifestyle health issues, I strongly believe that there has never been a more important time to become a health and wellbeing coach.