Are your personal boundaries actually helping you?
Boundaries, the invisible line as to what is acceptable or not to you.
This makes boundaries very arbitrary. For what is acceptable to me may well not be to you and vice versa. However, with that said… there are certain boundaries we all adhere to within society to make us safe.
As wellbeing coaches or within the workplace we have boundaries to protect ourselves and the client. We have boundaries within a relationship to feel valued and loved. Boundaries form the bedrock of our ethical and moral choices.
Why then do we struggle so much to uphold our boundaries?
This can be due to a few of reasons:
- You don’t know what is important to you.
- You don’t know what is unacceptable behaviour.
- You don’t think you are worthy of upholding strong opinions on what is acceptable to you.
- You know but have trouble communicating what those boundaries are.
What is the result of a lack of boundaries?
Other people can take advantage of you, you let yourself down, you can feel angry, frustrated, upset when your boundaries have been overstepped.
This means we need to own our boundaries. We need to know what we stand for, what is important to ourselves, what we value and we have to find our voice to communicate all of this to another.
On the other hand, what I would love you to think about are your personal boundaries with yourself.
How do you take care of you?
When you think of yourself; what is important, what is acceptable, what is ok and what is not important, unacceptable and not ok?
If we take food as an example, how can you set a strong boundary over what is acceptable and not acceptable to consume? How do you feel when you overindulge? What do you say to yourself if you don’t uphold your boundary?
Take a moment and start to examine your personal boundaries in relation to how you take care of you. How can you ensure you treat yourself with respect as you make yourself a priority?
Boundaries are fascinating, easy to set yet much harder to uphold.
Give yourself permission to be kind to yourself as you examine your relationship to the boundaries that you set with yourself.