There is a saying that behind every action is a thought, so if we want to change what do then ask what would be a better thought to take a better action?

Exploring with your client what the thoughts and feelings are behind the actions the client takes can, therefore, be invaluable to helping your client sleep well. 

• Examining the negative thought patterns and asking what they are thinking and what they feel when they think that thought can help a client to see the effect a thought has upon their feelings. 
• Asking what the client does when they feel a certain way can then allow a client to see how they do something to numb the feeling out. 
• Asking what happens to their sleep when they numb the feeling out can highlight the ineffectiveness of the action in inducing sleeping well.

Working with Your Client’s Negativity

You can explore negative thoughts and feelings which arise when the client has difficulty sleeping. What thoughts are going round their mind as they lie in bed unable to sleep? How does that make them feel? Or ask them to notice what they feel and what that feeling makes them think about sleep.

You can ask about negative thoughts and feelings as they wake up and the consequence that has on the day ahead. Think about ‘the priming the day’ lesson.

What actions occur when they have these thoughts and feelings? What are the consequences?

Stress, anxiety, worry and fear create a physical sensation through the activation of the sympathetic nervous system such as racing heart, tight chest, shortness of breath, sweating, feeling clammy, dry mouth. Ask your client to notice such sensations and use relaxation tools to help regulate their nervous system. 

Once the client has noticed the negative impact of their thoughts, feelings and sensations upon the actions they take and the impact upon their sleep, start to reframe the negativity into positivity.

Reframing with Your Client

What would be a better thought for you to hold onto before sleep? For example, I will be ok if I don’t fall asleep straight away.

How will they feel with the better thought? Or if they want to feel a certain way, what would they need to think? For example, I will feel calm when I think I will be ok if I don’t fall asleep straight away.

If you want to think a better thought, what would be the action you will now take? For example, I will listen to a guided meditation which calms me and reassures me it’s ok to not fall asleep straight away. I will look forward to then going to sleep well. 

Catastrophising Fixed Thinking

Other times it’s helpful to be mindful of thoughts and observe the negative, fixed thinking with the phrase “Oh how interesting….” as it puts them into the place of observer of their thoughts. 

This observation of thoughts can help to stop the catastrophising fixed thinking people can get into as they acknowledge the unpleasant thoughts, accept the unpleasant thoughts and recognise that if they were to carry on with the narrative it spirals them down into a pattern of worse thinking. From this place of observing thoughts they can give themselves a command of stop to prevent the spiralling downwards pattern, focus on a positive outcome and say positive affirmative words to affirm new thoughts and help sleep.